There is no reason to think I could have amounted to anything important.
I was a bad stutterer. Speaking smoothly and promptly and confidently wasn’t exactly my forte.
Between 7th and 9th grade I had four knee surgeries. For a young man trying to find his way, this was brutal for my confidence.
As far as school goes, I had to work my butt off to get B’s—while my buddies barely tried and got A’s. I knew I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Desperate to succeed, I got caught cheating.
Loser. Underachiever. Laughingstock. Weak. Forgotten. Just a boy.
Needless to say, my self-esteem wasn’t super strong. And as I looked ahead in life, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen next? And who am I to do anything or be anything important?
In the Scriptures, Moses found himself in a similar place. In his mind, he was a coward and a murderer and a cast off. He was a fool and a disappointment. He was too old and washed up and stuck in his ways and had emotional baggage. He was forgotten and disregarded. He was a shepherd of sheep when he could have been a king of people.
But God said, “I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.”
You see, God didn’t care about what Moses had done or hadn’t done. What happened had happened. The past was in the past. Learn from it but don’t dwell on it. Be refined by it but not defined by it. God wanted Moses to be driven by his future not controlled by his past.
And who is sending Moses? The God who created the heavens and the earth and plants and animals and human beings. The God who can tell the wind and the waves and the storm to stop. The God who changes water to wine, who makes the blind see, the deaf hear, and the lame walk. The God who drives out demons and feeds the thousands. The God who forgives sins.
But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
I am guilty of thinking, “Come on Moses, don’t you get it!?” But chances are we would have responded the same way.
And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”
In the midst of our excuses, God doesn’t make any excuses. And He doesn’t use words like “maybe” or “possibly” or “likely” or “could” or “might.” He promises Moses and He promises us that He will be with us, He will give us a sign, we will rescue the people, and we will worship Him.
So what is God calling you to? And what is your excuse?
Personally, I have days where I doubt and days where I believe God’s plan. When I look in the mirror at my own abilities, I doubt and make excuses. But when I look out the window and remember who is sending me, I believe.
Uncertainty is scary. Stepping into the unknown is unnerving. I want control and stability and safety and security. I want to see the whole plan before I step out. God could lay out all the specifics, but He doesn’t. Why?
Because He wants us to be content with one thing: His presence.
And the assurance He will be with us every step of the way everyday.
So no matter where you’ve come from or what you’ve done. No matter your shame or insecurities or fears or shortcomings. Just know that God is bigger than any of those things.
And He isn’t done with you. He believes in you.
So may we take that first step. May we feel His arm around us guiding and protecting and providing. Along the way may we seek and find signs that He has sent us.
And when we have helped bring others out of their Egypt, may we worship the One who makes all things possible…